I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
