how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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