whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
look no pants
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
