So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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