I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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