you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
