it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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