fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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