The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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