wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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