I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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