I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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