i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
