Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize