This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
