don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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