You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
