The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
