The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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