he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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