Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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