I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Bring me that man meat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
