You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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