Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
God, I missed his penis.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
