Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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