Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we're so committed to being not committed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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