Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
