I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
