Plan B is the new Plan A
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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