Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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