I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize