that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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