and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
