ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
