I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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