i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
