so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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