Having a random hookup so left but love u
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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