he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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