He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
