I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
