i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
