About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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