Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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