My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
