I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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