You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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