FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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