Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
