where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
