dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
