I'm so fucking centered right now
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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