Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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